so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
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