I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Randomize
