OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize