Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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