feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
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