Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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