True but thats because hes a fetus.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
