OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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