is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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