he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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