This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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