my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
