If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I'm too high and old for this...
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
