Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize
