Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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