By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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