Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
