I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
