I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Randomize
