What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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