Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Randomize
