u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
