fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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