so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
