Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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