You're earring is so big in my mouth
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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