Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Randomize
