We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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