My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
