Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
