First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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