she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
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