i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Omg I joined a choir last night...
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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