I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
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