That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
