Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
