Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Randomize
