have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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