I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
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