Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
