Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Randomize
