Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
