Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
