I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
