I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
