you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Randomize
