He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
