Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Randomize
