how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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