Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
