At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
