You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Randomize
