They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
