First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Randomize
