Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Randomize
