threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
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