There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Redeem this text for a blowjob
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
