By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
