So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
