We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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