Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
We have so much sex to catch up on
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize