We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I just googled if crying burns calories
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
