last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
