If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
