I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize