..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
It was confusing and full of hummus
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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