i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
