THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
