dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
