Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
