i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
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