she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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