So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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