A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
