Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
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