After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I checked into jail on foursquare
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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